sometimes i feel like its such a burden that my parents switched churches………………..
but it’s hard to talk about because i feel like i belong at kmumc while my parents fit at power mission a lot better. and there’s no chance whatsoever that all of us will one day go to the same church again (minus my sister who’s already transitioning to power mission).
recently my dad decided i’m going to ecuador with him for a medical mission trip……..with my brother and four other adults (including my dad).
but after finding out that my job is passing out gauze and laying dental tools. i feel selfishly annoyed that they were intending on taking me to a mission trip to do that.
see, maybe if i were in college and in dental school, i’d do something like that. because that would PERTAIN to me. that’s something that dentists who were also christ followers could be seen doing.
at this point i’m a sophomore in high school and i dont know what my future looks like. i may never be the orthodontist i claimed i “wanted” to be since 4th grade. heck, i don’t even know if i want to go into the dental field. and while there are people who have never and will never have anything related to being a dentist who want to go and who WANT to pass out gauze, i DONT.
not only am i completely incapable of speaking spanish (NOTE: I CAN’T EVEN SPEAK KOREAN. COMMUNICATION WITH THE FREAKING ADULTS ON THE MISSION TRIP IS GONNA BE IMPOSSIBLE), but i feel i’m just gaining service hours instead of performing a service for God. see the difference? now, it’s a totally legitimate argument to say that passing out gauze and laying dental tools is a service because it is helping the dentist who is helping the people. and the dental work is a service to people who need it. but if you need someone to do that, why don’t you find someone who has the heart to do it so it becomes a mission rather than a chore? it’s also completely legitimate to say that the sheer experience of going to ecuador and seeing the poverty there is going to be hard to see. but i walk into downtown cincinnati and see the poverty there AND YES ITS FREAKING HARD AF TO SEE THAT AND LET IT GO. but when i say that i actually want to be able to talk to and communicate with the people i’m helping is also just as valid of an argument. to say that i want to be able to do a VBS with kids is a valid argument.
and my mom BLATANTLY told me, “oh you never even see those kids again. that interaction means nothing” PISSES ME OFF. a;lsdfja;lsdfja;lsdkjf;lasjf;laksdjf;lkjasd;lfja;dslfjadls;fkja;lsdfj
how is that NOT mission work?
honestly i dont know. i bet i’ll just not even end up going to any mission trip. i feel like my side of the argument makes sense and my parents’ side of the argument makes sense. i have no idea what to do. maybe i just wasnt meant to go to a mission trip at all this year.
to be completely honest if there was even ONE other kid in junior high or something going, i would have a different view on the whole thing. because there’s someone to talk to about what im seeing what i’m experiencing. i dont talk to my brother about that kind of stuff. EVEN IF MY SISTER WAS GOING i would be okay with it. but the idea of one 15 year old on a MEDICAL mission team just doesn’t make sense. we’re not even doing VBS. so it makes me feel like this is my DAD’S mission trip with church people. not a church mission trip that my dad is going to.
so yeah this is not the first fight/argument ive had since switching churches about the fact that my parents want me participating in THEIR church instead of mine. and its incredibly stressful for me because i REALLY wanted to go to kmumc’s mission trip. but if i tell them i want to go to that, they’re just gonna tell me that i’m using mission trip as a weeklong sleepover and socializing….WHCIH IT’S NOT.
this probably sounds so stupid to the people reading this, but it makes me upset because if we had all gone to the same church it would’ve never happened. the key here is that it’s incredibly taxing on me to have to choose between churches, even if we serve the same God and even if I know God can work through the mission trip in Ecuador and the mission trip ANYWHERE.
idk i hate talking about it because i know that everyone will just assume my parents are bad people for leaving despite the fact that their kids enjoy kmumc better. some of the ajummas even started gossiping about the fact that my parents are gone and we’re still here. but i wouldn’t say that they’re bad people at all. because if they feel like they are growing at the new church, then that’s great. but how could i grow at that church when most of the 8th graders there don’t even know where the book of Mark is in the Bible. there’s such a huge disconnect not only in physical and mental maturity, but also spiritual maturity.